Leather Master and the Bad Kitty
by Sara Winters
Summary: He's a pretentious jerk. She's an uptight old maid. They can't keep their hands and everything else off each other. Plus, leather. From the same warped universe as Undeniable Attraction. Highly likely to offend.
1. Hitting Bottom

She didn't know how her feelings changed. In her mind, he'd always been the cold jerk who was too smart for his own good. Severus had never met a person he thought his mental equal—with the exception of Albus Dumbledore—and treated nearly everyone as if they were beneath him. Minerva had learned to ignore his snide remarks and pretentiousness over the years, but it never failed to annoy her when he spoke of the students as if even they too were unworthy of his precious time.

On one such occassion he'd been in the staff room ranting about all the time he had to waste reading essays from the simpletons who couldn't bother to open a text, never mind being able to process what they'd read. On top of an already difficult day, his rubbish was the last straw.

"If it's such a waste of your precious time," she interrupted as she opened the door, "why don't you quit?" Minerva walked further into the staff room. "Don't worry, Severus. We'll get over your loss."

His eyes narrowed as she approached the overlarge armchair next to the fireplace where he was holding court. Professor Sinistra managed to blush and smile awkwardly while Professor Flitwick merely seemed confused at the change in the tone of the conversation. Minerva stopped before the Potions professor's chair and glared at him over the tops of her glasses.

"The only thing you seem to have lost is the remains of your senses," Severus said. His voice was little more than a whisper, but in the suddenly quiet room it seemed to echo over the crackling of the fire.

"And that is my cue to leave," Aurora said, standing abruptly from her chair. She grabbed Filius by the edge of his collar and practically dragged him from the room. McGonagall didn't blame her for running. The last time the two of them had gotten into it, Dumbledore had to forcibly separate them from hitting each other. He wasn't here now.

The moment the door closed behind them, Minerva dropped her arms to either side. One hand clenched into a fist. "Why are you here?" she asked. "You hate children. You hate teaching." She gave him a sidelong look. "I'm not even sure you appreciate what Albus risked to get you a job here."

He leaned back in his chair; an annoying little smirk appeared. "That's what this is really about. Your knickers are still in a twist because he won't tell you why he trusts me. It's not your concern."

"No, the welfare of the students is my concern," she responded. She shrugged. "And I don't need to ask why Albus keeps you around. That it's not for your teaching skills or personality is obvious." Her lips pulled into a tight smile. "Though for the life of me, I don't know why he chooses you. He used to have far better taste."

For the first time since this conversation began, Severus looked upset. He sat ramrod straight in the chair. "What is that supposed to mean?" he asked slowly.

Minerva smiled. "Just that when Albus chose a bottom in the past, he usually only chose the prettiest he could find. My best guest about you is that you're only together in the dark or you've learned how to do far more useful things with your mouth than whine about how bloody miserable the students make you. I think he'd overlook everything else for that."

"I...we..._never_...that's....no," he stuttered, his face growing redder with each word. "Never," Severus said again. His nails dug into the arms of the chair.

"Oh," Minerva intoned. "Does he intimidate you, then? I have heard of your cowardly tendencies. Maybe he's waiting for you to come around."

Severus appeared to flutter around for a clever comeback before he pressed his lips into a thin line. "Bitch."

"Your mother," she mouthed. Just as she finished forming the words, he was up and out of his chair, his hands clasped firmly around her throat. Minerva coughed. "Albus must love your soft little girl hands."

"Shut up," he growled. Severus squeezed harder; his arms began to shake.

Minerva's knee met his groin and he gasped, loosening his hold. The contact shook her for a second. Was it her imagination or were his robes a little distended around the front end? Minerva pushed his hands away from her neck. Severus stumbled back.

"How did you become a Death Eater when you fight like that?" Minerva asked. "Did Voldemort need another girl to keep Bellatrix company during the meetings?"

"What is it the little monsters say?" Severus asked. "Blow me."

Seconds later, Minerva's hand met his face; her skin stung from the contact. "You little..." Somewhere deep in her mind she thought that idea wasn't half bad. She'd never admit it.

"No," Severus said. "I am not little. Or soft. Or anything resembling the feminine jokes you seem to enjoy throwing around." He stepped closer, until his nose practically touched hers. She didn't feel his nose, but she definitely felt something else. Something about that thrilled her. She really ought to get out more.

"I was going easy on you because there's a rumor that somewhere behind that saggy diaper, you used to be a woman." He sneered. "Some even went so far as to say a lady." He shoved her shoulders into the wall behind her. "With the way you came in here, I doubt that very much. I suggest you learn your place with me or risk suffering the consequences."

There was a long beat of silence as she stared into the dark eyes inches from hers. Then Minerva spoke, so softly it could barely be heard. "Quite an eloquent speech, but it still doesn't change my opinion of you. Tell me. Where do you buy your tampons?"

Before she could take her next breath, his hand was tangled in her hair and she was down on her knees. Minerva began to salivate as he opened his robes. Then his boxers were down and she was gulping hungrily, sucking at him and gagging as he forced her mouth down around his erection. Saliva spurted from her mouth and dribbled down her chin. The knot of hair at the back of her head came loose.

"This is what you wanted all along, isn't it?" he whispered. His grip tightened, tangling further in her loosened hair. He pushed her head faster. "I know what else you want, but I think I'll make you beg for that."

Minerva's eyes had been closed, but she opened them then. He was watching her as he moved her head back and forth, a smirk tilting his mouth on one side. Severus thought he had the best of her. Given her position, and the way she was sucking him as if she was starved, she couldn't blame him for that assumption. And, Merlin help her, she was starting to tingle in places she hadn't acknowledged in ages. Severus gripped her hair again and pulled hard; Minerva moaned and swayed on her knees before steadying herself. She'd be damned if she let him know what this was doing to her.

Forcing herself back, she grabbed his hand and wrenched it from her hair, shoving it to his side. Minerva's other hand took the place of her mouth. She licked her wet lips and looked up at him. His eyes were closed, his mouth hung open. His heavy breaths soon became panting, peppered with the occassional moan as he thrust into her hand.

"Severus." A low moan was the response. Minerva smiled. She began moving her hand faster. "Since you don't seem to need anyone for anything, I suppose you can finish this yourself." With that, she released him and stood. She wiped her hand on the side of her robes.

"You...I...._what_?"

She laughed at his sputtering. Pulling her hair back up, Minerva winked at him. "If you find you do need a little help, I'll be happy to let Albus know of your condition." Grinning, she ducked out of the staff room, a laugh escaping as she heard a Stinging Hex hit the door behind her.


	2. Cream

At breakfast the next morning one of the school owls brought her a palm-sized bottle of cream. Almost against her will, she smiled at the gift. The attached note read, "Since you enjoy milking so much..." Cream for the cat. The bastard thought he was funny. Minerva pulled the cork from the bottle and took a small sip. Her lips twisted into a grimace. Lowering the bottle, she steeled herself, straightened her face and glanced down the table. Severus appeared to be engrossed in a conversation with Poppy. He looked up briefly. A smirk touched his lips before he went back to listening to the other woman.

Bastard, she thought. The white substance in the bottle wasn't cream, though she had spent a considerable amount of time attempting to milk it out the night before. She supposed the little prank was payback for the way she'd left him. Unfortunate that he didn't know, two could play these games.

* * *

The door to Minerva's office exploded in a shower of wood. The student sitting in her desk chair screamed and whipped around, clutching her books to her chest. Severus stood in the doorway. His face was contorted in fury and he was breathing so hard, Minerva thought steam might start coming out of her his ears. She tried not to, but somethjing about the seething man in front of her made her giggle.

"You hateful bi—"

A quickly sent Silencing Charm kept his words from reaching her. Minerva motioned to the student. "I think we can discuss those extra credit assignments at another time." After waiting for the frightened girl to leave, she waved a hand absently at her door, repairing it. She looked up at Severus. He was still cursing her, presumably. His face was red and he appeared to be straining to scream, in spite of the spell. Hm. It appeared he didn't appreciate having every potion in his classroom transfigured into a thick, rich cream. Minerva smiled. At least it would spare him having to complain about the students getting the assignment wrong again.

"You really ought to calm down," she began, "I'd hate to think of you giving yourself a heart attack." With a wave, she released him from the Silencing Charm.

"I could kill you," he said in a low voice. "Do you know how you made me look today?"

Minerva looked him up and down slowly. "You don't appear harmed. Let me guess what happened. One of your students, in a fit of surprised excitement, made his cauldron explode. Your robes were absolutely covered in thick, hot cream," she said slowly. She licked her lips. "You were so surprised by his exploding all over you that had your own sort of explosion. Was that the way of it?"

"You made me look as if I don't have control over my own classroom," Severus said, continuing as if she hadn't spoken. "I do not tolerate games of this nature."

"Oh, sack up Sevvie," Minerva responded. "It was just a prank. Besides, you started it." She stuck out her tongue at him; her laugh rang out high in her office when the gesture appeared to anger him more.

He began walking towards the desk, his hands clenched into fists at his side. "I ought to spank you for behaving this way."

Minerva abruptly stopped laughing. "Why yes, you should," she whispered. In a flash, she had jumped around her desk and was bent over the front of it, wiggling her bottom within reach of his fist. "I have to warn you, if you're as much of a bitch with me this way as you are in an argument, I'm going to have to show you how it's done. No half-measures," she said, glancing at him over her shoulder.

He'd thought she was going batty the night before when she'd teased and then rejected him. Now Severus didn't know what to think. Well, he had some idea. He had to admit, the possibilities held some appeal.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Minerva was in her cat form, stretched out on her desk, purring so loudly Severus thought she sounded like a Muggle car in need of servicing. He supposed he should be proud that he'd evoked such a reaction from her. Prouder still that he had the love marks—or so she'd called the three inch claw marks on his neck and face—that showed her appreciation.

He walked out of her office in a considerably better mood than how he'd entered it. _There is something to be said for sparring with a worthy adversary_, he thought. _I can't wait to find out what's next_.


End file.
